The Luckiest Guy In The World
When someone tells me that they want to kill themselves, I sit back and wonder what they truly desire. In my opinion, what they are saying is that I wish my life and its circumstances would change. Would they want to kill themselves if they had tons of money, successful, popular..? Basically would they do it if something changed in their lives.
Now when I was suicidal, there were a lot of things that I would've changed. I would've settled for waking up to be an entirely different person. Not saying that suicidal people are just superficial. What I am saying is that people are dealt really crappy hands in life, much crappier than others. It may seem unfair but so is everything about life.
You have to ask yourself would you still feel the same way if you woke up having every thing you wanted tomorrow morning. Because if you WOULD opt for suicide regardless of everything, then you should probably seek help. But if you WOULDN'T opt for suicide, then there is hope for you.
Life's circumstances rarely stay the same. If you are being bullied, then it won't last forever. If you don't have a lot of money, then there are things that you can do to change that. If you don't like the way you look, you still have options. Even if you don't go the surgical route, again, as you get older, your looks will automatically change. When you are alive, you always have options. There are things that you can do that will change your circumstances. IF you are dead, there is NOTHING you can do.
People will think back on you, other than your family, for a brief moment as that classmate that killed themselves before going on with their lives. Is that what you want to be? A brief momentary thought before being dismissed ? While your family bears the brunt of your decisions?
Because during my most dark days, I thought life couldn't get better. But it did. I believe I've lived a wonderful life. But had I ended it on a dark day at the age of sixteen, my mother and twin sister would be mourning my loss, while my classmates (some of my worst tormentors) would think of me briefly before going back to the potato salad, probably calling me stupid for actually committing suicide and then going back to the party. When my best revenge would be coming to that reunion and showing them what a great person I turned out to be and it was their loss for not getting a chance to know the real me.
I lived a great life since then but the S-word follows me in my shadows still. It never truly goes away. I just keep positive people around me. I am getting married and I have a great daughter who loves me. Its a life I would have never know had my suicide demons won back in 1996....
Now when I was suicidal, there were a lot of things that I would've changed. I would've settled for waking up to be an entirely different person. Not saying that suicidal people are just superficial. What I am saying is that people are dealt really crappy hands in life, much crappier than others. It may seem unfair but so is everything about life.
You have to ask yourself would you still feel the same way if you woke up having every thing you wanted tomorrow morning. Because if you WOULD opt for suicide regardless of everything, then you should probably seek help. But if you WOULDN'T opt for suicide, then there is hope for you.
Life's circumstances rarely stay the same. If you are being bullied, then it won't last forever. If you don't have a lot of money, then there are things that you can do to change that. If you don't like the way you look, you still have options. Even if you don't go the surgical route, again, as you get older, your looks will automatically change. When you are alive, you always have options. There are things that you can do that will change your circumstances. IF you are dead, there is NOTHING you can do.
People will think back on you, other than your family, for a brief moment as that classmate that killed themselves before going on with their lives. Is that what you want to be? A brief momentary thought before being dismissed ? While your family bears the brunt of your decisions?
Because during my most dark days, I thought life couldn't get better. But it did. I believe I've lived a wonderful life. But had I ended it on a dark day at the age of sixteen, my mother and twin sister would be mourning my loss, while my classmates (some of my worst tormentors) would think of me briefly before going back to the potato salad, probably calling me stupid for actually committing suicide and then going back to the party. When my best revenge would be coming to that reunion and showing them what a great person I turned out to be and it was their loss for not getting a chance to know the real me.
I lived a great life since then but the S-word follows me in my shadows still. It never truly goes away. I just keep positive people around me. I am getting married and I have a great daughter who loves me. Its a life I would have never know had my suicide demons won back in 1996....
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