Suicide Cocktails: Opiates
This is part Two of the series, "Suicide Cocktails".....
This is a subject that hits home for me. I use opiates for pain control. I realize that using these drugs bears a huge responsibility on me. I have to make sure that while they are in my possession, that no one else can get a hold to them and do something stupid. Because I suffer greatly from pain, it is not a game or laughing matter. I need the pills that I take to function.
I also understand the gravity of the situation. Using opiates can be dangerous because they can easily kill you through intentional or accidental overdose.
If you are thinking of killing yourself using opiates, I will have to be honest and say that you chose a formidable method. But before you pat yourself on the back, let me explain how they work.
They work by slowing down your respiratory system. Do you know what it feels like to stop breathing? Well if you want to die, that would be the point. But its not as painless as you think it will be.
I stopped breathing one day due to my respiratory issues that I have. It was the worst feeling in the world.
I was flat-ironing my hair and the smoke was getting to me. For some reason, the iron that I used caused a bit of smoke that wasn't too bad, but irritating to my lungs. So I began to use my asthma medication. That did't work. I popped oral steroids (prednisone) That didn't work. I began to get worried. I used my machine. Three times. I still couldn't breathe. I was literally sucking the air just to get oxygen. I began to panic.
The paramedics were called at once but I knew that it was too late for me. I sat in my room gasping for breath knowing that I didn't have much longer to live. Just a few more minutes at the least. I could hear the paramedics from a distance. I decided to fight for my life at that moment. Outside a woman was walking a dog. I remember wishing that I could trade places with her. The night was perfect....for a May evening. I wanted to be that woman so bad. It looked as if she didn't have a care in the world. I wanted to be her and her to be me. I wanted to be outside walking my dog instead of breathing my last few breaths.
It's funny how your last thoughts are sometimes. When you just want everything to be normal again. I remembered thinking that if I died that night, that same woman would be out again the next day walking her dog, unaware of the tragedy that was unfolding just forty yards from where she was the previous day. She would not have known that I had lived and died.
I took off running for the paramedics and met them outside. I was trying to save time.
I remember him asking my name (I was so out of breath) but he saw the fear and terror in my eyes. He put me on the stretcher inside the ambulance and that was the last thing I remembered. I woke up on the table after coming out of respiratory arrest.
Place a pillow over your face for as long as you can. After a while, the terror and panic creep up on you. Suffocation HURTS and is a terrible way to go.
Opiates will depress your respiratory system and you will be on the floor gasping for air like a fish that flopped out of his bowl. It is such an undignified and horrible way to die. This is not a good method.
Just give it one more day. Because if you decide to go through with it, you can't change your mind once it's done. Give life another chance.
This is a subject that hits home for me. I use opiates for pain control. I realize that using these drugs bears a huge responsibility on me. I have to make sure that while they are in my possession, that no one else can get a hold to them and do something stupid. Because I suffer greatly from pain, it is not a game or laughing matter. I need the pills that I take to function.
I also understand the gravity of the situation. Using opiates can be dangerous because they can easily kill you through intentional or accidental overdose.
If you are thinking of killing yourself using opiates, I will have to be honest and say that you chose a formidable method. But before you pat yourself on the back, let me explain how they work.
They work by slowing down your respiratory system. Do you know what it feels like to stop breathing? Well if you want to die, that would be the point. But its not as painless as you think it will be.
I stopped breathing one day due to my respiratory issues that I have. It was the worst feeling in the world.
I was flat-ironing my hair and the smoke was getting to me. For some reason, the iron that I used caused a bit of smoke that wasn't too bad, but irritating to my lungs. So I began to use my asthma medication. That did't work. I popped oral steroids (prednisone) That didn't work. I began to get worried. I used my machine. Three times. I still couldn't breathe. I was literally sucking the air just to get oxygen. I began to panic.
The paramedics were called at once but I knew that it was too late for me. I sat in my room gasping for breath knowing that I didn't have much longer to live. Just a few more minutes at the least. I could hear the paramedics from a distance. I decided to fight for my life at that moment. Outside a woman was walking a dog. I remember wishing that I could trade places with her. The night was perfect....for a May evening. I wanted to be that woman so bad. It looked as if she didn't have a care in the world. I wanted to be her and her to be me. I wanted to be outside walking my dog instead of breathing my last few breaths.
It's funny how your last thoughts are sometimes. When you just want everything to be normal again. I remembered thinking that if I died that night, that same woman would be out again the next day walking her dog, unaware of the tragedy that was unfolding just forty yards from where she was the previous day. She would not have known that I had lived and died.
I took off running for the paramedics and met them outside. I was trying to save time.
I remember him asking my name (I was so out of breath) but he saw the fear and terror in my eyes. He put me on the stretcher inside the ambulance and that was the last thing I remembered. I woke up on the table after coming out of respiratory arrest.
Place a pillow over your face for as long as you can. After a while, the terror and panic creep up on you. Suffocation HURTS and is a terrible way to go.
Opiates will depress your respiratory system and you will be on the floor gasping for air like a fish that flopped out of his bowl. It is such an undignified and horrible way to die. This is not a good method.
Just give it one more day. Because if you decide to go through with it, you can't change your mind once it's done. Give life another chance.
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