Breakfast In My House

While most families sit at the dining room table and discuss inane events like the weather and who the neighbor got caught sleeping with over a lovely breakfast of Corn Pops and Pop Tarts, my family is not quite like that at all.

My mom sits around and asks everyone if they want breakfast. If you proceed to say yes, she'll start barking out her order to you. And she wears these really trashy nightgowns that look like they've been resurrected from the 60's. She should really take a look at my brother's Victoria Secret catalogue for an updated wardrobe.

(my brother doesn't read that catalogue for sexual kicks...)

Note: If you're ever at my house and she asks you if you are hungry, just say no and politely walk away. 

My Dad just sits in front of the morning paper, sipping his coffee (very disgustingly BTW) and doesn't speak unless spoken to. 

I just really stopped eating breakfast at my house. I'd rather eat my own arm off.